Bears quarterback Jay Cutler calls Microsoft Surface a ‘knockoff iPad’

The NFL is not a sports league; it’s an advertisement periodically interrupted by bouts of football.

It is a temple to our basest capitalist tendencies. It’s a place where Bose forces players to place small squares of tape over their Beats Studios that render them utterly unrecognizable.

It’s a #brandscape unrivaled.

Jay Cutler, best known as the husband of television personality Kristin Cavallari, doesn’t care about the #brandscape. He just wants to play football — at least enough football to finish third in the NFC North, perhaps more if he’s feeling inspired. But sometimes the #brandscape gets in the way, like when Microsoft pays nearly half a billion dollars to shower teams and announcers with Surfaces.

According to ESPN Chicago’s Jon Greenberg, Cutler was caught yesterday referring to the Bears’ Surfaces as “knockoff iPads”:

It’s not all bad news for Microsoft — he says the Surfaces work great! But there’s just one thing:

To be fair, I don’t know what brand of facial tissue is on my desk, I just know it’s not Kleenex. Jay and I aren’t that different, apart from the $127 million contract.

Microsoft may want to consider expanding its training program.

Correction: Microsoft’s deal with the NFL has them using Surface Pro 2s, not 3s. References to the Surface Pro 3 have been removed from the story.

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