Why AT&T is buying DirecTV

I hereby approve the official merger of raspberry jelly and chunky peanut butter. Under the merger rules, the two entities must live in unity on toasted rye, as one. If either the jelly or the peanut butter exit the toasted rye and land on an article of clothing (pants, shirt, socks, etc.), the blame is to be put on both entities. If either party does not abide by these rules, the snack shall hereby be terminated.