The first 4K Blu-rays are coming early next year, but they all really suck

Every time a new physical media format debuts, the first batch of titles that arrive alongside it are always a wonderfully random mix of hits and pure mediocrity. (Remember when Sony included a copy of Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby with the PlayStation 3? Oh, memories.) Thankfully, nothing’s going to be any different for the launch of Sony’s 4K Blu-ray discs.

The company has announced that you’ll be able to truly own — and hold in your hands — 4K content early in 2016, though it’s still not specifying an exact street date. As Engadget notes, that actually misses the Q4 timeframe that the Blu-ray Disc association was originally aiming for. When they do hit retail, Sony says its UHD titles will support HDR, which will result in a much bolder, brighter picture if you’re got a very new and compatible TV. But enough about all that; you want to know which movies are coming first, and here they are:

The Amazing Spiderman 2 (Tomatometer: 52%)

Chappie (31%)

Hancock (41%)

Pineapple Express (68%)

Salt (62%)

The Smurfs 2 (14%)

That’s right. Based on pooled critical consensus, the 2008 stoner flick starring Seth Rogen and James Franco is the best of this lot. That’s pretty rough! Even if that’s somehow your favorite movie ever, do you really need to see it in higher resolution than 1080p? Rest assured, in the very same press release, Sony says a steady flow of titles will follow the launch lineup and points to its growing vault of recent blockbusters and classics that’ve seen 4K restorations. Those include:

Fury, Captain Phillips, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Men In Black, Ghostbusters, The Fifth Element, Bad Boys, The Da Vinci Code, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Leon: The Professional, Lawrence Of Arabia, The Bridge on the River Kwai, The Guns of Navarone, Taxi Driver, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

So if you still haven’t upgraded to a 4K HDTV, worry not: Sony’s rollout of UHD Blu-rays probably won’t send you to an impulse purchase. Maybe by the end of the year. We’ll see.