This is what a Rascal looks like going 100 miles per hour

The “Rascal” was never a great name for an electric scooter designed to be a slow, excruciatingly safe means of transport for the mobility-challenged.

But this mobility scooter here, you see... well, I have no idea whether it’s an actual Rascal brand product, but it’s definitely a rascal.

Two British mechanics recently set out to break the record for “fastest mobility scooter” (because of course there’s a record for that), and they managed to set the mark at 107.6 miles per hour using a bright green pocket rocket. To be fair, it only vaguely resembles the kind of scooter you might find Grandpa riding — the only thing that’s true to the original product is the outer shell. Underneath, there’s a 600cc Suzuki motorcycle engine attached to a go-kart frame. The result, as you might expect, is something with a little more get-up-and-go than an off-the-shelf Rascal.

At some point, we’ll probably all need rideables of some sort — we’ll break bones, get old, or both. I’m going on the record saying this is what I want someday. To my future children: put me in this. Thanks in advance.