Let’s just cut open this rock and oh my gosh there is blood inside

I’m eating a turkey and swiss sandwich right now, and I’m watching this video. Please don’t do as I do. Learn from my mistakes. This sea creature, the Pyura chilensis, lives off the coasts of Chile and Peru and is a very real creature. Its outside looks like a casual beach rock, but its insides, well, they’re terrifying. They’re a juicy, bloody red goop of fish guts. The chilensis supposedly makes for a tasty meal. I’m not sure I would eat it, but sure, why not.

Let’s break down this video from 2011. (Yes, it’s old, but nauseating videos of bleeding rock creatures never go out of style.) A German man and his friends find the chilensis and cut it open to see what its insides look like. The nasty guts, which a woman in the video calls “icky,” ooze out. That same woman continuously groans in the background as she realizes how gnarly the poor lil chilensis’ innards are. They kind of look like what you’d see if you barfed out the majority of your organs, and then let them cook on the pavement for an afternoon. That’s something I don’t want to see.

If we can take anything away from this video, though, it’s that we should always carry around a Swiss army knife in the event of finding a wild bleeding rock animal yearning to be cut open. Wait, no, we should take away the opposite.